Suicide and Self-harm prevention Tips and ideas to prevent negative thoughts
Please note: we are not a crisis service. If you, or someone you know, are in crisis, please call an ambulance or the First Response team. These are tips for prevention, we hope they help.
We have been working with gay, bi, and any other man who has sex with men for 30 years and we understand that mental health affects us all, and it affects us all in different ways. Sometimes you need to know that who you're talking to understands your experiences and will listen without judgement.
We have a counselling service at MESMAC and you can refer yourself through this link.
But if you're not ready for counselling, you can have a chat with our team, in an informal, easy 1-2-1 setting (currently Zoom or over the phone!).
Meet the team:
"I’m Jonathan and I’m a gay man in my 40’s. I have worked for MESMAC for over 15 years so I have lots of experience of supporting LGBTQ+ communities and individuals. I have experience of supporting people around their mental health and also personal lived experience of some mental health challenges. We are a friendly, knowledgeable and local service, please get in touch if you think we might be able to help."
You can call, text or whatsapp Jonathan on 07810550534
"I’m Ryan and work for Yorkshire MESMAC, I’m 27, Queer and have worked and volunteered across a number of projects working with LGBTQ+ people, HIV+ folk and testing people for HIV and Syphilis during my 2 years with MESMAC. Get in touch if you’d like any support around any of these issues."
You can call, text or whatsapp Ryan on 07709673780
"I'm Rosie and I've been with MESMAC for 8yrs. I'm 29 and a lesbian. I've worked mostly with LGBTQ+ youth, working with those who maybe have struggled to come out or are looking to gain confidence being their true selves. I work with LGBTQ+ people in 121 capacities, and I also train organisations to be inclusive of LGBTQ+ people because I believe we should all be able to access the services we need, without the anxiety of coming out and what that might mean for us."
You can call, text or whatsapp Rosie on 07551152665
This time of year is cold and dark, and the last we often want to do is exercise. And we're not here to tell you to start training for a marathon, but most of us know that it is proven that some physical exercise can drastically improve our mood and well-being.
It's often best to start small, and you don't even need to leave your house to do it! Here are some suggestions for starting small to get those endorphines kicking in:
- Yoga: there are thousands of free yoga videos on Youtube, just search around a find one that works for you! This exercise can vary from very easy to very difficult, and the beauty is, it's up to you how you approach it!
- Dancing in you kitchen: or living room, bedroom, shower- it's up to you! This might not work for everyone, but if you're in the mood, this could really improve your day!
- Going for a walk: it doesn't have to be a hike, and it doesn't have to be for long, maybe just a short stroll around the block for 15mins could have more of an impact than you might have thought? Or take a walk to the shops where you might usually drive, or bus or taxi to.
We love the We Are Undefeatable campaign, encouraging us all to move in ways that make us feel great, we hope you find something there that inspires you.
At this time of the year, food is on most people's brains, and that can sometimes be triggering for those of us who might struggle with body image or our relationship to eating.
It isn't always easy to eat 'well' and to know what's 'right' or 'good'. At MESMAC, we're no food experts, but we do know that we feel better when we eat what makes our bodies feel good.
If you're struggling with your relationship to food, then reach out to a charity like Beat, where they can offer you support, even on Christmas Day.
You might be struggling to know what to cook, or with how expensive it might be, this Christmas is looking very different for many of us, and we might be anxious about what to cook for ourselves between Christmas and New Year. We love Jack Monroe's website, which gives really easy, budget recipes to follow.
Sleep doesn't come easy for everyone, or for some people, all we can do is sleep, and don't have the energy to do anything else.
Around the festive period we often lose our sleep patterns, stay up later and sleep in longer, and sometimes that's just what we need. And sometimes, those late nights can be where we feel our most alone. You know what's best for you, but here are some tips for a healthier sleeping pattern, because we know a good night's sleep can give us the energy we need to face the next day.
- Set a general bedtime. It doesn't have to be early, and it doesn't have to be strict, but maybe give yourself an hour to start winding down and getting ready for bed. Our brains love routine, so if we're feeling low, maybe it's worth a try?
- Put those devices down! Scrolling through twitter or instagram might seem like a nice way of relaxing, but in reality, looking at other people's lives can often leave us feeling like we're missing out, or we're not good enough. Limit your scrolling in the evening to give your brain a good chance of feeling good before bed. Maybe try a book, audiobook or soothing music to unwind. Maybe even some colouring in could be your thing!
- Focus on your breathing, not your thoughts. This is a bit of mindfulness, but when we're trying to sleeping, breathing can help carry us into that dream state where we can escape for a few hours.
Here's a great charity that helps the nation sleep better, with some of their tips for better sleep if you want to look into it in more detail.
There are some links below to our BeResillient website, which is aimed at those living with HIV, but anyone feeling anxious, stressed or depressed might find the activities on there useful:
- Sleep: Even if you struggle to sleep, trying to, being in bed, closing your eyes and practicing breathing techniques can help us on our way.
- Mindfulness: This can often help us get to sleep if we are struggling, and can ground us to prevent us having panic/anxiety attacks during the day. There are plenty of tips on how to practice mindfulness, here's one we created you might like.
- Meditation and relaxation: We hear all the time how meditation can help us calm our thoughts, here are some resources that might help you understand how to practice meditation in a way that works for you.
- Positive affirmations: We can get used to repeating negative thoughts to ourselves, and if we don't balance those out with positive thoughts, then it's understandable that we feel down. Here are some resources on how we can add positive affirmations into our lives easily to help brighten your day.
The Cellar Trust - Haven is a non-clinical space to go during the day when you're in crisis. They also offer other ongoing mental health support services
Mind Sanctuary - The Sanctuary is a non-clinical space you can access at night time if you are in mental distress. They also offer other, ongoing mental health support services
My Wellbeing College - the Wellbeing College offer a range of guidance on issues such as stress, anxiety and poor sleep. Courses and 121 support can be offered.
These charities work all year round offering support to those who need it, maybe even more at this time of year:
- Campaign Against Living Miserably: CALM work specifically with and for men who are struggling. They have a chat line, webchat and loads of interesting and useful articles on their website.
- SHOUT: if talking over the phone isn't your thing, maybe texting is. SHOUT is a charity that offers support via text round the clock, if you're feeling low but don't want to say it out loud, maybe a text to these guys might help?
- BEAT: The eating disorder charity have a phone line and webchat offer for supporting those struggling with their relationship to eating, and this time of year that can be heightened for many. If you're struggling with this this year, then BEAT are there to help.
- GALLOP: If you're in an LGBTQ+ relationship and are feeling unsure if you are in a healthy relationship, then it's probably worth talking to someone about your worries. GALLOP offer a helpline, an email and also offer case work provision. You're not alone, and GALLOP will not judge you for your identity.